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Road Rage

Road Rage

Road rage is a term used to describe aggressive or violent behavior exhibited by drivers in the course of operating their vehicles. This phenomenon can manifest in various ways, including tailgating, honking excessively, making offensive gestures, verbal abuse, or even escalating to physical confrontations. Often triggered by stress, impatience, or perceived slights from other drivers, road rage poses a serious risk to public safety. It can lead to dangerous driving conditions, accidents, and both psychological and physical harm.

Understanding the underlying triggers and learning coping mechanisms are a few of the crucial steps in mitigating the occurrence and impact of road rage.

Anybody can become angry, that is easy; but to be angry with the right person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, and for the right purpose, and in the right way — that is not within everybody’s power; that is not easy.

— Aristotle

I help people in the San Francisco Bay Area (and throughout California, Washington, Colorado, & Idaho via Zoom) for whom road rage and anger has become a problem through developing behavioral and emotional self-awareness, understanding their triggers and underlying causes, and learning effective coping skills (aka “tools”) that can help them manage their anger reactions in more constructive ways.

Top Ten Ways to Avoid Road Rage

1. Take public transportation or ride a bike.

2. Leave 10 minutes early, so you won't be rushed and stressed.

3. Enjoy the ride (e.g., focus on the scenery; enjoy the company of your passengers, etc.)

4. Reduce your stress and anger triggers (e.g., practice mindful breathing; listen to relaxing music instead of aggravating talk radio; put down the phone; etc.)

5. Exercise altruism (e.g., purposely allow others to merge and pass.)

6. Use humor (e.g., tell yourself, "They must be rushing to the gym. They need it!")

7. Practice acceptance (e.g., "Let it go”)

8. Don't be a vigilante (e.g., let the police deal with dangerous drivers.)

9. Play it safe and smart (e.g., move to a different lane; pull over and calm down.)

10. Think socially rather than selfishly, and try to imagine the other driver's perspective (e.g., "I bet he's late for work like I was yesterday. I'll let him pass.")

FAQ’S About Road Rage & Anger Management

  • Anger is a normal human emotion that warns us that something is being done to us that is threatening, unjust, or gets in the way of getting our needs met. Of course, we can become angry at ourselves for a variety of reasons. Anger by nature is not a “problem” nor does it always require “anger management.” Unfortunately, for many people, anger can become a problem when:

    • It makes us feel uncomfortable, “bad,” or out-of-control. Many people were “trained” by their families never to express anger, so they never learned how to understand, tolerate, process, and communicate about the emotion.

    • We experience anger more intensely and/or more frequently than we can handle. If our anger becomes “toxic” and gets in the way of living a happy, healthy, productive life, then it deserves to be looked at.

    • It leads to problems in communication within relationships. Anger in relationships tends to be a secondary emotion for other, deeper hurts that can be triggered by friends and loved ones. When this happens, communication and empathy suffer which can lead to further problems and pain and strains on our connections with other people.

    • Anger triggers impulsive behaviors that limit our happiness and growth, hurt ourselves and others, and can ultimately cause major damage in our lives.

  • I offer in-person therapy in Marin County, CA and online therapy through California and Colorado via secure video.

  • If you are looking for someone to guide you in the anger management and therapy process who takes you seriously while being kind and compassionate, and who is skillful, experienced, down-to-earth, and easy to talk to…then I may be the right therapist for you.

    When working with clients with problematic anger, I bring my nearly 20 years of doctoral level education, training, and clinical experience to create a client-centered, tailor-made treatment approach. I use an integrative approach made of several validated therapy methods including classic Anger Management tools, Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness practices, Psychodynamic Therapy, a special Anger Toolkit I have developed that my clients have found to be very helpful.

    However, my initial and most important focus is on the client-therapist relationship. This starts with making sure we both feel there is a “fit,” then building rapport, and creating conditions where safety is felt, trust is built and communication flows. I always strive to demonstrate unconditional positive regard, empathy, a non-judgmental stance, and a passion to help each client cope, make positive changes, and grow.

    In short, I work hard to help my clients tame their anger and find their calm and confidence again.

  • Over my life, I have always been curious about and a bit weary of anger—both my own and others’. I was always confused as to why some people, including very intelligent, calm, rational adults, would be prone to explosive expressions of anger and sometimes, rage. As a long-time commuter, I pointed the finger (not literally…) at other drivers who surprised me with their Road Rage antics, many of which were very dangerous. So, when I needed to pick a research topic for my doctoral degree, I decided to study and report on the growing and alarming phenomenon of Road Rage. My findings led me to want to educate the public and help individuals in therapy to change their understanding of anger, improve their control over it, and develop the skills to be less angry, less often, and let more stuff go.

    I have appreciated the opportunities to consult on many road rage and anger news stories on TV and the internet and in other forms of media over the years. I am honored to have helped hundreds of individuals in my private practice learn to Tame their Anger and find their calm again.

  • In total, just shy of 20 years. 11+ as a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and 8 as a trainee under the guidance and supervision of some of the wisest and most skilled psychologists in the county.

  • This is a common question. The answer is that the time it takes will vary and depends on a number of factors including:

    1. Willingness to engage in the process and actively participate in therapy even when it gets difficult.

    2. Consistency of attendance, and being present and interactive in sessions.

    3. Your symptoms, medical history, other psychiatric diagnosis, medication, trauma, substance use, prior therapy experience, coping abilities, and your therapy goals.

    4. Maintaining open communication with your therapist about your experiences and any concerns you might have during the treatment process.

    Beyond all of these factors, most clients start to see some positive change within a month or two, more noticeable improvement in multiple areas of life around 3-6 months, and stability in improvements including significant reduction in the frequency, intensity and duration of anger and increases in their capacity to tolerate and cope with frustrations as well as behave in more appropriate ways around 6-12 months—or more depending on those factors mentioned above and others.

Dr. Bob’s Road Rage Media Appearances