“Anybody can become angry, that is easy; but to be angry with the right person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, and for the right purpose, and in the right way–that is not within everybody’s power; that is not easy.”
Anger is a normal human emotion that warns us that something is being done to us that is threatening, unjust, or gets in the way of getting our needs met. Of course, we can become angry at ourselves for a variety of reasons. Anger by nature is not a “problem” nor does it always require “anger management.” Unfortunately, for many people, anger can become a problem when:
•It makes us feel uncomfortable, “bad,” or out-of-control. Many people were “trained” by their families never to express anger, so they never learned how to understand, tolerate, process, and communicate about the emotion.
•We experience anger more intensely and/or more frequently than we can handle. If our anger becomes “toxic” and gets in the way of living a happy, healthy, productive life, then it deserves to be looked at.
•It leads to problems in communication within relationships. Anger in relationships tends to be a secondary emotion for other, deeper hurts that can be triggered by friends and loved ones. When this happens, communication and empathy suffer which can lead to further problems and pain and strains on our connections with other people.
•Anger triggers impulsive behaviors that limit our happiness and growth, hurt ourselves and others, and can ultimately cause major damage in our lives.
“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to a better understanding of ourselves.” ~Carl Jung
I help people for whom anger has become a problem through developing behavioral and emotional self-awareness, understanding about triggers and underlying causes, and effective coping skills (aka “tools”) that can help them manage their anger reactions in more constructive ways.